Homeschool Truth Bombs

I'm pretty sure God has a sense of humor. You've seen a platypus, right? Or that time Alberta looked like this:

But at the very top of my list would have to be the fact that I'm a homeschooling mom. I don't remember exact dates, but I specifically remember a conversation with someone in which I said the following:

"If there came a time where we had to homeschool,

Colin would have to stay home, and I'd work full time.

There is NO WAY I could ever homeschool."

Pretty sure that's the only reason our family now has a few years of homeschool behind us, with no plans of stopping.  

Reasons for homeschooling are unique to every family, so I won't bore anyone with the details of how our family decided it was the best option for us. However, because we chose to homeschool when there is a church-run school accessible to us, we are often questioned on our decision. Thankfully, most of these questions are asked from a respectful and curious point of view, and for that I am truly thankful. 

I was very pleased to have a curious person ask me a few questions about how we made homeschooling work, and was asked to be truly honest about our experience thus far. I searched in vain for a blog post I had read recently that perfectly summarized my thoughts, but when I could not find it, I decided to dust off my old blog and recreate the blog post I had read.

So, without further ado, here is an interview that I conducted with the members of my family regarding their thoughts on homeschooling: the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Although we all concluded that the only ugly part of homeschooling was my fuzzy purple housecoat....)  

Andrew (age: 10.5)

Me: What are some benefits of homeschooling? Can you tell me some of your favourite activities?

Andrew: I can work as fast or as slow as I need. I'm able to use the afternoons to work on my hobbies because my school work only takes a couple of hours. I love to read, and I'm able to spend the whole afternoon reading if I want to. I can be involved in many activities. I love the board game meet ups on Fridays. I'm part of a provincial bible quizzing team, and our first competition is  next weekend. I play a lot of violin, and I'm getting my audition piece ready for the Edmonton Youth Orchestra. I love to build things with my friends....we get together almost every afternoon when they get home from school. And I can't wait till art day. My aunt comes once a month and we do art and art history for a whole day. One of my winter projects is extracting essential oils from plants. I've been researching how to do it in the afternoons. My other winter project is to sew a Ranger's Apprentice cape. I think if I was in school, I wouldn't be able to do all these things, and still have time for school work. 

(I'll interject here. Andrew is right. If he was schooled, there is no way we could afford or have the time for him to devout this amount of passion to music, art, and other extra-curricular activities)

Me: What are some downsides to homeschooling?

Andrew: When people find out that you're homeschooled, they think that you're weird or anti-social. But it's funny because they only think that after I tell them. Sometimes my brothers and sister get on my nerves, but then I just go in my room. I also don't like waiting till 3:30 for my friends to come home so I can play with them. 

(Interjection: Andrew's "cons" made me laugh. He later said that there were no real downsides that he could think of.)

Clara (age: 7.5)

Me: What do you like about homeschooling?

Clara: I like learning from you, and playing the violin. (apparently she thinks that only homeschoolers can play violin ?!?!?) I like to go to homeschool swimming lessons and playdates with the V's. (another homeschool family) I love homeschool day at the science centre. (our local science centre offers once-a-month science classes for homschooers) I like art classes with Aunt J and I can't wait to draw. I love to sing at choir and.... (at this point the conversation deviated into things that she "liked" that weren't necessarily related to homeschooling.)

Me: What do you think you'd like about going to regular school. (Clara only went to K at PICS, and therefore doesn't have much a reference point)

Clara: I think I'd like to ride the bus, and play with S (a cousin) at recess. (she may like the idea of riding the bus, but I don't think she realizes that she'd be on it till almost 5pm. Hahaha!)

Andrea (age: 29 forever)

In an effort to keep this post under 253 pages, I will very briefly summarize my view on pros and cons. But please know that it pains me to do so.....I could elaborate on these extensively! 

Pros

• more family time, ability to spend time on the important teaching moments and not feel like I have to rush them out the door. I get the very best part of my kids, instead of the left-overs of them when they come home from school. 
• an overall sense of less rushing! We are very deliberate with our activity choices so we are able to live calmly. (well, as calm as one can be with 4 ridiculously loud children.)
• a tailor-made education. You can ensure all the basics are met, and then leave the children to pursue their (many) passions. You'd be amazed at what a self-motivated child can accomplish. (you read that part about Andrew extracting essential oils from plants? Certainly nothing I came up with.....)
• the ability to let a child's capability dictate the speed of learning. A teacher must teach to the middle ground, which means a faster learner is bored and a slower learner never really learns. 
• you really learn how to work together as a family. I'm not one of those moms who would claim that my kids are each other's best friends, but they really have learned to get along and play together much more than I think they would if in school.
• you can teach your child HOW to learn. The reason homeschooling works is not because the parents are brilliant, but because they have taught their child how to learn. 
• the ability to spend whatever time is needed in those character and teaching moments. And spending as long as we want in any area, for that matter. Sometimes our morning devotions last 25 minutes. Other days it's over an hour because we found something essential to discuss. 
• the flexibility cannot be beat.   
• many "little" things like not having to make lunches, not having to catch the bus when it's freezing, etc. 
• the ability to choose curriculum when you feel it is best or most appropriate for your child. (although since my kids went to a church-run school, this was never a concern for me. Definitely one of the advantages of sending your kids to a school where you trust the teachers!)
• bullying. Again, this was not a problem for my children in the school they previously attended, but I wouldn't doubt that this would be at the top of the list for many parents who homeschool.  

Cons 

• possible judgment and criticism from friends, family, and strangers at Costco. (thankfully my friends {both homeschooling and non} and my family have been very supportive!) 

My philosophy is that if someone has outright said something very offensive or downright incorrect about our decision, (for example, that we are not fulfilling our baptismal vows because we're not sending our children to the Canadian Reformed School), then I really do not put an effort in to defending our reasons. I know they're wrong and that we're only answerable to God for the decisions we've made. The same goes for the cashiers at Superstore, who ask weird and rude questions to my children and myself. I simply don't bother putting an effort in to change their minds. As far as I can tell, they're not open to any view but their own.

On the flip side, if there is a genuinely curious person who asks polite and honest questions, I am happy to give them any information. 

• Mom is stressed and is likely tired all the time. 

Well, I believe that all parents are tired, whether they homeschool or not. But there is this responsibility that sits on your shoulders when you know that YOU are solely responsible for the education of your child, but I try to view that as more of a challenge than a stress. (I have my days, though.....)

• a feeling of isolation from the school community.

This one is a possibility, but my answer so far has been to try and volunteer in the church/school community as much as I'm able.

• a messy house

This. This is the real con. My nemesis and proverbial thorn in my side. But mostly because I'm slightly neurotic about a tidy house. Thankfully my dear husband understands my sickness and regularly gives me a kid-free hour so I can clean to my heart's content. There is just no way you can educate your children during the day, and keep up with all the other household duties. Hence the reason why my super-husband took over cooking. He says he enjoys cooking but, really, it was self-preservation. I had pretty much stopped thinking of food as a necessary part of survival.  

  

Colin (age: old enough)

(warning: I have translated this post for your benefit. Although not perfect, I do hope that it reflects the general message given in it's original form, "Geek/Teacher-Lingo-ese")

Me: What are the benefits of homeschooling? 

Colin: (for those who are not aware of Colin's background, he is a math/comp-sci teacher at Harry Ainlay, a public high school in Edmonton.)

There are flaws in the school system that cannot be changed. I know many excellent teachers, yet their hands are tied because of the system. Homeschooling gets to the heart of education without all the red tape. There is so much freedom to be found in homeschooling. There's an inevitable time in school where the the student loses their love and zest for learning. Their curiosity is gone, and they simply don't care about what they are learning. (or know why they have to learn it) There could be much more to add, but I'll leave it at that.

a note on curiosity- My mom took Andrew to Ontario this summer and was asked - twice- by complete strangers if he was homeschooled. The reason for the question? He was curious about things and talked to these strangers with ease. They also assumed Andrew was my mom's son...what can I say? I hope I get those genes!

Me: What could our kids miss out on by not going to a school?

Colin: One of the most common questions from non-homeschoolers is why we believe we are qualified to teach our kids. I think many people believe that only teachers are qualified to educate. There is no doubt that teachers are experts in their field. To have a passionate teacher that passes on their love of a subject to a student is invaluable. However, I think homeschooling parents have the edge because they are truly invested in their child. And we can "hack" the system by taking advantage of opportunities to expose our kids to passionate teaching, whether from ourselves or someone else. (a tutor, coach, grandparent, etc)

(Interjection: Colin, like me, had a hard time thinking of cons. Which brings me to the last part of this post and, due to the nature of the topic, received its own special section.)

 The "S" Word

Ask any homeschooler what their pet peeve is, and 99% of them will answer, "When people ask us what we plan on doing about socialization." 

Seriously, it's what prompts homeschoolers to do this:

Or this:

But usually we try to have a good sense of humor about it all, so we do this:

At any rate, non-homeschoolers have pretty much accepted the socialization myth as gospel truth. Why? Hard to say. Probably because we can all remember that *ONE* weird homeschool kid we met once. (Never mind the dozens of weird kids that we can recall from school. Heck, I was probably one of them.) 

But here is my standard reply to this question:

What is your definition of "socialization"?

If socialization means the ability to "fit in" with 30 kids who are all born in the same year as my child, then I will plainly tell you that I have no desire for my child to be "socialized". Socialization is SO much more than the ability to fit in. What I hope to build in my children is the ability to converse with anyone of any age in a kind, polite, and intelligent manner. With eye contact. 

Here's where the "all homeschoolers are unsocialized" myth comes in to play. And I'll use a true event with a hypothetical ending to illustrate my point:

Andrew returned home after playing with his friends. He asked my what the "Whip and Nae Nae" was. His schooled friends could not believe that he didn't know what it was.

So I showed him. 

Watch me Whip/Nae Nae

Can we all agree that if true socialization is based on knowing what the whip/nae nae is, then our world is doomed? 

But here's the hypothetical part. 

Imagine that my son's friends concluded that it was Andrew's homeschool upbringing that attributed to his lack of knowledge in things of importance. Or maybe Andrew's curiosity or friendly nature to people, regardless of age, resulted in those people concluding that homeschoolers are weird. ("Why is that 10 year old kid talking to me in public? I'm 12! He's so weird!")
It's so terribly wrong and, may I add, terribly unfair. Are there no "weird" kids in public schools? I thought people claimed sending my kid to a school would fix all those socialization problems? 

The only difference between a "weird" homeschooled kid, and a "weird" schooled kid is that the kid who goes to school will likely have his originality bullied out of him. 

And the homeschooled kid will be blissfully unaware that he is "weird". (Or rather, "weird" by the definition of children born the same year as him.) 

And I'm totally cool with that.

In conclusion, I would like to stress very deeply that I am in favour of all methods of education. There is no "one size fits all". Some kids thrive in a school setting. Others don't. Some families are able to homeschool. Others don't feel like it's the right choice for them. Some people can't afford to send their children to a private Christian school. Others feel like sending your kids to a Christian school is the only viable option. Some want their children in the public system so they can be a light to the world. Others want to shelter their children a little longer. 

Whatever you have chosen for your family, don't let anyone tell you it's the wrong choice. You know your child better than anyone.

I'll be there 100% to back you up.

Blessings,

Andrea

Dear 50-Year-Old Me.

You may not remember me...or you....whatever.

But fifty, hey? You made it. There are so many possible scenarios that you may find yourself in now. By my calculations, you could be an empty nester! Maybe you're working or volunteering. Maybe you're travelling the world with your husband. Perhaps you're taking care of elderly parents. Maybe you're the one that needs taking care of. You may even be a Grandparent. What?!

But remember back, 50-year-old me? Back two decades ago? I bet not. Oh, there are memories, I'm sure. But nothing fresh like the 30-year-old version of yourself is living right now. Even that 30-year-old version is beginning to have blurred memories and vague recollections of the life stage that is passing her by. This stage called "Prime" is passing by so fast that she is frantically trying to keep the balance of surviving, while still hanging on to every fleeting moment.

And so, 50-year-old me, you need to take a pledge. A promise to the 30-year-old version of yourself:

A Pledge by 50-Year-Old Me:

• Wherever and whatever you are doing in your life, 50-year-old me, remember the young moms. You will be busy with your own life, I know. In fact, you may be so busy that you forget to remember them. But do. Please do.
• 50-year-old me, do you remember the exhaustion? The exhaustion that is a mixture of sleep deprivation and intense emotional output? It's real, 50-year-old me. You may be tired too, but that doesn't mean that young mother's exhaustion isn't real. Just take her word for it.
• Promise that you will never tell a young mom that it only gets busier when they get older. It's cruel. Really and truly cruel.  
• Remember that life is different now than it was back then, 50-year-old me. The world changes so quickly that the issues facing young moms today may have not existed two decades ago.
• Remember that hindsight is 20/20. And life experiences and problems are always easier to solve when we look back on them.
• The world is scary, 50-year-old me. That young mom is scared of everything: Failing, not loving enough, not disciplining properly, not doing enough. And that was all before 9 am. 
• Remember to smile, 50-year-old me. Don't just give those sweet moms a pat on the back, and a glazed-over expression for them to talk to. Listen to them. Really listen. 
• And while you're listening, 50-year-old me, do not judge. Those moms are doing their best. Just like you gave it your best twenty short years ago.
• You'll never know. As much as you think you remember being 30, you still don't know every story out there. And that young mom has a story, 50-year-old me. Just like you have a story. 

And lastly, 50-year-old me, those young moms see you too! They see you serving others. They see you taking care of your parents. They see you battling cancer. They know that life at 50 and beyond isn't any easier or less busy. 

But still remember them, and the task that is before them. Don't demean them, 50-year-old me. Don't brush them off and undermine their stage of life. 

After all, you were once there too. 

Love,

30-Year-Old You. 

Busy is not a Virtue.

I'm not sure about other Moms out there, but I sometimes feel "over-blogged". There are so many people and articles telling us (yes, YOU..you Momma!) what to think, how to feel, and where to buy your next cocktail dress. 

Since this Momma has long lost any familiarity with dress shops, I've dropped by with something else to say. And you can totally ignore it if you want to, but it is something that has been on my heart for a while. 

It started a few years ago, when I began venturing out of the house with a kid, and then two kids, and then even more kids. People would stop, smile, chat, and then drop that sentence on me like a stealthy, snide bomb:

"Oh, you think you're busy now? Just wait till they're older...."

Why? Just why?

It's like telling someone who is drowning that things aren't so bad yet.... just wait for that waterfall that's around the next corner.

Cheers, my friend. Thanks for the advice. I'll ponder it while I drown my sorrows in a tall glass of purple juice and 4 loads of laundry that need to be folded.

I'm here to argue that statement. Or at least convince people to meet me at the halfsies point. Because I don't think life with older kids is busier. And I don't think that life with little kids is busier, either. 

I think they're DIFFERENT BUSY.

Gasp. Yes, it's a new concept.

There is something so intimidating to a Mom of young kids to hear that life is just going to get more insane as the kids get older. But what these Moms of older kids are conveniently forgetting to tell us is that some of those crazy moments that we deal with now will also disappear as our kids age. 

Consider Scenario 1: You are told that when your kids get older, they will be involved in more activities in the evenings, and your nights will be spent as "Taxi Mom". You start to look for your hyperventilating bag because now, once those kids are in bed, you savour that precious alone time. After all, it's the only quiet you've had all day.
What they're forgetting to tell you is that once your kids are older, they're not going to be attached to your hip, back, or bosom 24/7. Once those kids are older, and more independent, you may actually get to go pee by yourself. Alone time during the day? What a novel concept!

Scenario 2: Helpful Hilda tells you that you will have no free time when you're kids are older because you will fill that now-available daytime with volunteering, school activities, or maybe working part time. And don't forget that there are still the regular household activities that still need to be done, regardless of your child's age.
True story. I'm not even going to argue that one. But may I point out scenario 1's answer again, as well as the fact that some of these "older kid commitments" can be carefully selected or even politely turned down? (pretty sure I can't turn down my crying baby, or naughty toddler during the day, no matter how polite I am.)

Scenario 3: Having older kids is so much busier and harder because their problems are bigger, and more stressful. When you have small kids, their problems are small and easy to fix.
First of all, I'm going to recommend that you don't say this to a Mom that has a child with anxiety, behavioral problems, or any type of issue. In fact, play it safe and don't say this at all. Because there's a good chance you have NO idea how big the problems are of that Mom and her young child. 
But let's just say that we're dealing with your classic little kid problem versus big kid problem. Then I'd have to agree. I'm sure that big kid problems are tough to deal with. But, when it's my turn, I'm counting on having a full nights worth of sleep to tackle those problems with my older child. Because getting up at night with a baby, and then up for the day at 5:30am with my cheerful 3 year old barely leaves me with the ability to tie shoes.  

But the idea I'd really like you to leave with is this:

Busy is NOT a Virtue. It's not a competition. It's not even a thing. So let's stop pretending that it is. 

Instead, can we all just work on ENCOURAGING all Moms, no matter what stage we're at? If I can be totally honest, I'd probably melt into a sappy puddle if someone said to me, "Good job, Momma. Keep going!"

As they say, 
The days are long, but the years are short. 

(sometimes the days feel really, REALLY long. But I suppose to an experienced Momma, those years must sometimes feel really, REALLY short and long ago! 

When Genetics Come to Play.

My family is blessed with AWESOME genetics. We're academic, athletic, artistic, and musical. And especially modest! 
Actually, the list above is somewhat accurate. It's just that each of the 4 kids in my family possesses one of those traits in abundance, and the rest....not as much. I'll leave you to guess which trait fits who! Genetics is also responsible for the beautiful eyes in my family. Beautiful eyes...that can't see properly. I am the only one who escaped full-time glasses.  

Take Jess. She got the Peters' eyes. (well, the Peters problem. Those cool colours you see are all hers! It's called a Nevus, and it's basically like a mole in your eye.)

And then there's little Lisa. She was the most beautiful baby you ever did see. But the poor girl had such a lazy eye (Amblyopia), that she was patched and had glasses before she was two. She then had surgery at age 4. 

Interestingly enough, Jessica's son had a similar problem to Lisa. These genetics like to skip around the family. Although my little nephew did not have surgery, he was in glasses at 17 months.  

Wasn't he the cutest little poopie?

 Well, genetics decided to come over to my house too. And no small wonder. It's not as if Colin's family has escaped eye issues. So here's my little Hankiepants, looking so spiffy in his new specs. I was really hoping he could get cool 'scientist' glasses like his cousin, but he's not quite big enough for those yet!

And I'd like to take this moment to encourage all of you to take care of your childrens' eyes! (and yours too, of course!) If you ask any family doctor, he'll tell you that your child should have his eyes checked by the time he starts school... at the very least! If you suspect something, or there are strong family genetics, I'd suggest going earlier! I see a regular optician with my kids at first, but if there are any issues I immediately ask my family doctor for a referral to the Pediatric Opthomology Clinic at the Stollery. They've been treating my family for the last 20 years! And if your child does need glasses, I highly recommend MDO's in St Albert.

One last crazy look at genetics. You know it's crazy when you take your son in to get his glasses fitted, and they take one look at him and say "He looks just like Lisa!"  

It must be those liquid brown eyes!

And Now We Are Old.

And Now We Are Six Old. ...and it's time to face fears again. 

I've never had an issue with 'getting older'. In fact, most of the time, I've been excited about it. Take when I was 19, for example. I was ECSTATIC to turn 20. Mostly because I could now tell those people who could not believe I was married that is was okay....because I was in my 20's. (They didn't have to know that I was 20 and a few days, right?)

30 is a weird age, though. When I look around at other 30-year-old women, it's hard to tell where I fit in. I've 'finished' most of the things that women my age are just starting to do. And because you tend to gravitate towards people at the same stage of life as you, most of my acquaintances (outside of church friends) are at least 5-10 years older. ( And as a side note: Do you have any idea how hard it is to figure out how to dress? There needs to be a section in clothing stores for the "wants to be trendy, but too old to dress like a teenager" women like me.) 

It's tough for me to figure out why turning 30 is seriously freaking me out. It's really not that old. And now my age actually kind of matches what I've 'accomplished' in life. (have you seen how big peoples' eyes get when you tell them you have 4 kids, and you're not 30 yet?) 

So I've decided I'm not going to try and figure it out....I'll just try to roll with it. 

Ready to celebrate the last night of my 20's!

Birthday Martini's on the house!

All of us celebrate birthdays within 1 month of each other,
so we went to an awesome dueling piano bar. The boys made
pests of themselves by requesting obscure songs, while the
ladies sang loudly, laughed a lot, and danced a little.
Okay, so it was just me and Colin dancing.....

One of these girls just doesn't belong here.
One of these girl just isn't the same.
One of these girls isn't 30.
Now it's time to guess her name,
It's time to guess her name! 

If you've never been to a dueling piano bar, I'd highly recommend the Bourbon Room in St Albert. Such a blast! I have to say, our table was definitely the life of the party.

Apparently "Brittany" had no idea there was a Cher

cover of Walking in Memphis!

 

Another one of our many requests. The boys requested

everything from Bon Jovi, Roxette, Shania Twain, to Linkin Park.

It was a little crazy.....

And I'd like to give a shout-out to my 20's. It was an awesome decade:

I got married (okay, I did that a few months before...)

I finished post-secondary.

I had a few awesome jobs, and a few kick-ass opportunities. (like working with the Spanish Men's Soccer Team, and participating in a research project in Pediatric Oncology.)

I had 4 kids.

I moved 3 times.

I grew up a TON.

I'm a little sad to see those 20's go... after all:

And I got to Marry Him!

Ever have a flashback? I'm not sure if I'm unusual, but I have little 'out of body' experiences that are triggered by all sorts of things. It could be a smell, an article of clothing, anything really. For example: A5-35? That's totally basketball season. 

But it's the weirdest feeling. I'll be sitting there, and suddenly it's as if a subconscious of mine from 10, 15, or 20 years ago is watching what is currently taking place. And it's freaking out. I have to admit, it's awesome. I don't usually tell people, because I get looked at a little oddly.

Well, this week I had it again. I was putting away my Christmas lights, and I moved a box over. The box fell down, and its contents spilled out. The box was labelled "Andrea's Stuff", and I had forgotten is existed. This is what was at the top:

 Fun stuff, right? A book our class made in Grade 3/4, when we had the coolest substitute teacher ever. The champagne bottle my parents popped when Colin and I got engaged. A box full of medals, trophies, and awards. (I must say, I wasn't terribly well-rounded in high school. It's all sports.) 

Then I dug a little deeper and found this:

A box FULL of notes that Colin and I wrote back and forth. For those of you who don't know how Colin and I 'met', I'll give you the condensed version:

Where I come from, there are two options as to how you met your spouse. 

a) You both went to the same church, and just eventually noticed each other.

b) You moved to a different area for post-secondary, went to the nearest Can. Ref. Church, and lived happily ever after with the first person you met that wasn't related to you. 

See? Not entirely romantic. Colin and I fit in to Option A. The difference is, we don't actually remember each other. My only memory of Colin in school is watching him play basketball at the annual Credo vs PICS tournament. I was in grade 7, and Colin was this mega basketball star in grade 12. (Interestingly enough, Credo had a basketball star who was also #7, also in grade 12, also named Colin, and who's last name started with a "Veld". Creepy?) 

I do have another memory of a younger Colin, but I'm a little embarrassed to mention it. Let's just say it has something to do with watching him walk into church behind this older couple, and me thinking that it was so kind that this older couple took in their grandson. Which usually led me to wondering just where his parents were. See? A little embarrassing, considering that 'older couple' are now my in-laws.  

So while we knew of each other, we really didn't get to know each other till I was in grade 10, and I joined the basketball team. And the rest is history.

While I don't recommend dating your coach, it worked out well for us. Obviously. We did have to work around some things. We had a "No Dating at Basketball Events" rule, and that explains all our notes. Colin and I would pass notes to each other much like giggling grade 2 kids. 

Needless to say, I pretty much wasted the entire day today reading them again. 

But the greatest treasure I re-found was this:

(And I apologize, because I've spent the last 15 minutes trying to flip the photo, but I can't figure it out. Newbie alert!)

This is a book Colin gave me as a gift when we got engaged. Now Colin is the sweetest man, with an abundance of great qualities. So many in fact, that I am able to easily overlook that he sometimes lacks in the thoughtful gift-giving department. He's not the most sentimental guy, but that just makes two of us! And what makes this gift was so special. 

Long before texts existed, couples wrote letters. Well, we were somewhere in between. Colin saved every single email we ever wrote back and forth. And it begins WELL before we started dating. Here's the first sentence from the first email:

" Hey Coach, here are my practice and workout plans for the summer..."

Yep, we started emailing when I was about to start grade 10. Colin had requested that the team email him their practice plans for the summer so he could keep in touch and see how we were doing. I'm pretty sure that I was the ONLY one who kept it up. 

These emails continued all the way until we got engaged. It's like a play-by-play book of our relationship. My favourite is the email I wrote to Colin at 2am after my sweet sister secretly confided that Colin had hoped to ask me out that evening...only to find out I had just started 'dating' someone else. I won't bore you with the details though..... 

Which brings me back to my out of body experience. Every once and awhile I will look across the room at Colin, and my head will tell me. " Seriously?! You ended up with him?? How did that happen?"  It's like my own head can't fathom how I ended up with someone as fantastic and unbelievable as him. 

It's usually at this point that Colin will look up at me, and question why I'm staring at him so oddly. I just smile. 

And then I tell my brain "Yes. I know. I am the luckiest woman on this planet."

Who's Kid is it, anyways?!

There was a time when I gave up reading anything and everything to do with parenting. It seemed that everything I read screamed that I was doing it wrong....

" Be firm....but don't break her spirit!"
" Don't overdress your child...but make sure they don't get too cold!"

" Give them responsibilities.....but remember, they're just kids!"

" Never wake a sleeping child....but wake them to protect their sleep schedule."

If it wasn't the literature, it was the 'well-meaning' person in the check out line, handing you yet another piece of advice. These people are sneaky. They seem like they're trying to help, but there's always this underlying tone that you're doing something completely wrong.

It appears it really does take a village to raise a child. And the 'village' seems to know best.

At least the village thinks it does.

But whatever happened to differentiated parenting? 

(sorry, I'm shamelessly stealing the current 'buzzword' in teaching, and applying it to parenting!)

Why can't we all agree that every family has different rules, freedoms, and methods of discipline? Wherever I turn, there's yet another article floating around Facebook, criticising 'helicopter' parents. But in the same breath, they accuse the Mother of the boy who fell out of a tree of 'negligent parenting'.

I get it. There are two ends of the spectrum. And most people I know float happily in the middle. The point is, every parent has reasons for parenting the way they do. So please let us parent. Every parent (who loves their child) is doing the best job they can!

Yesterday I wasn't sure whether to laugh, or scream.

My kids have this awesome set up in the yard. They've shovelled most of the snow in a pile beside the shed, and then they took a long strip of MDF board and leaned it from the roof down to the ground. Then they set up a ladder to climb onto the roof. A Dutchman's Jungle Gym, if you will. It has been so much fun for them! Clara and Andrew spend hours out there, climbing, sliding, and lying on the roof while they stare at the stars. 

Yesterday, Clara decided to sit on the roof and watch for Andrew to come home. I was in the kitchen making supper when the doorbell rang. Someone driving by informed me, rather urgently, that my daughter was on the shed roof. When I thanked her and told her I was aware of it, her eyes widened. Then she mumbled, "Okay....", and walked away, shaking her head.

It wasn't over.

I went downstairs to grab some laundry. As I was changing the load, I heard someone yelling. I ran up the stairs, turned the corner to the front door, and there was a women standing in my house! Not just standing there, but shouting as loud as she could. Apparently she was so concerned for my daughter that she stopped her car, ran up my steps, and INTO my house. And when she didn't see me, she decided to yell for me.

Effectively waking my two sleeping sons.

So I laughed it off with Colin when he came home. But as I was thinking about it later, it really started to bother me. I happen to think I'm a good parent. Are you surprised I said that? Yes I have failings, but I am good at the important stuff. So it terrifies me to think of what could happen if the wrong person sees me letting my kids just be kids. Will I have the cops on my doorstep someday? Will I be featured in an article as a negligent parent? I pray not. We can debate over who should have the final say when it comes to children, but one fact remains: They're not the Government's kids. They're not the Legal System's kids. They're not even my children.

They are God's children.

So, what about you? What are your concerns with law or government involvement with parenting? I'd love to hear your input!